Betty is struggling with how to work with her life in the context of a husband who has been severely alcoholic and simultaneously abusing drugs, and who has repeatedly relapsed, immediately after completing detox and rehab programs.
Some years ago, one of the persons who was assigned as a counselor to her, while her husband was in a program, had told Betty that she was responsible for his not staying straight and sober.
This resonated with the culture in which she had been raised, and despite her own great intelligence, and much input from wiser advisors, she found herself continuing to feel blame for his relapses.
Betty identified the energy of the self-blame as a “black baseball”, about at the level of her stomach.
The outside influences which support the self-blame were “an orange light behind and partly around me”. With the first sentence, the black baseball became smaller, and energy rose in her body and came out into her shoulders, allowing them to relax. Repeating that sentence for “this remaining black baseball”, she felt lighter.
Retrieving her own energy from the orange light, she reported that she could focus on the orange light now. Removing the “not-me” energy of the orange light from all her cells, bodies and personal space, at first the orange light did not entirely disappear, but as she checked further throughout her body and space, she found it was gone.
The guide asked Betty to test her result by deliberately trying to blame herself for her husband’s problems. She could not find any self-blame, anywhere.
Nancy Porter-Steele
Some years ago, one of the persons who was assigned as a counselor to her, while her husband was in a program, had told Betty that she was responsible for his not staying straight and sober.
This resonated with the culture in which she had been raised, and despite her own great intelligence, and much input from wiser advisors, she found herself continuing to feel blame for his relapses.
Betty identified the energy of the self-blame as a “black baseball”, about at the level of her stomach.
The outside influences which support the self-blame were “an orange light behind and partly around me”. With the first sentence, the black baseball became smaller, and energy rose in her body and came out into her shoulders, allowing them to relax. Repeating that sentence for “this remaining black baseball”, she felt lighter.
Retrieving her own energy from the orange light, she reported that she could focus on the orange light now. Removing the “not-me” energy of the orange light from all her cells, bodies and personal space, at first the orange light did not entirely disappear, but as she checked further throughout her body and space, she found it was gone.
The guide asked Betty to test her result by deliberately trying to blame herself for her husband’s problems. She could not find any self-blame, anywhere.
Nancy Porter-Steele